chart junkie
The Department of Homeland Security has degraded the Terror Alert Warning to Level Zombie:
Based on a review of intelligence and an assessment of threats by the intelligence community, and the fact that Mr. Rogers is no longer around, the Attorney General in consultation with the Homeland Security Council has made the decision to return the threat level to an elevated risk of terrorist attack, or “yellow” level.
The Department of Homeland Security has degraded the Terror Alert Warning to Level Zombie:
Based on a review of intelligence and an assessment of threats by the intelligence community, and the fact that Mr. Rogers is no longer around, the Attorney General in consultation with the Homeland Security Council has made the decision to return the threat level to an elevated risk of terrorist attack, or “yellow” level.
My second trip to the Doc Watson’s Pub open mic was not as good as the first time. They had a nice sized crowd and a good mix of musicians including some decent bands, but each act seemed disconnected as if everyone was just playing for themselves and not the crowd. Either that or I just drank my Red Bull too fast before I went on stage. I played “I Hope I Die on the Moon,” “The Genius of it All,” and “Why Now Satan.”
I did meet a few people that night, including Dan the host (he had a great song about his hand), the featured artist John Goushian, who printed up business cards but uses a free website hoster, Chris the comedian with a few decent jokes (stand up comedy is HARD), and extra-star of Hack, David M. Stibon, who ALSO has business cards to promote his career as an extra on Hack. Actually, I just checked the back of these business cards and it says, “vistaprint.com Business Cards are FREE at www.vistaprint.com!” I went to the vistaprint website trying to see how they could make money printing free business cards when I realized I just linked to them in the previous sentence. They’re getting you to hand out 250 business cards for them by letting you put something on the other side. Not a bad idea. My favorite band of the night was “You Mess with the Bull, You Get the Horns.” What bugs me is that I’ve been playing guitar for 8 years and these guys looked young enough to be playing for 3-5 tops and could probably play better with their feet than I could with 4 hands and a few extra brain cells.
Doc Watson’s seems to love hiring new people. I made a crack last time about Doc’s bartenders all being brand new and last night they had two brand new bartenders as well. I’m not sure why that strikes me as odd.
Jack over at The People’s Republic of Seabrook thinks I should be the next Director of Homeland Security. My first task as Director would be to headlock the Secretary of Defense until he admitted his budget doesn’t just go towards defense. Next, I would sign defensive star Hugh Douglas to a long term deal. Lastly, I would give any leftover money to Old Man Murray so they could go back online.
The 2nd coolest person I know from Tulsa, OK gave a nice shout out from his site to the Revised Terror Alert Rating System. Thanks.
RIP Mr. Rogers
My second trip to the Doc Watson’s Pub open mic was not as good as the first time. They had a nice sized crowd and a good mix of musicians including some decent bands, but each act seemed disconnected as if everyone was just playing for themselves and not the crowd. Either that or I just drank my Red Bull too fast before I went on stage. I played “I Hope I Die on the Moon,” “The Genius of it All,” and “Why Now Satan.”
I did meet a few people that night, including Dan the host (he had a great song about his hand), the featured artist John Goushian, who printed up business cards but uses a free website hoster, Chris the comedian with a few decent jokes (stand up comedy is HARD), and extra-star of Hack, David M. Stibon, who ALSO has business cards to promote his career as an extra on Hack. Actually, I just checked the back of these business cards and it says, “vistaprint.com Business Cards are FREE at www.vistaprint.com!” I went to the vistaprint website trying to see how they could make money printing free business cards when I realized I just linked to them in the previous sentence. They’re getting you to hand out 250 business cards for them by letting you put something on the other side. Not a bad idea. My favorite band of the night was “You Mess with the Bull, You Get the Horns.” What bugs me is that I’ve been playing guitar for 8 years and these guys looked young enough to be playing for 3-5 tops and could probably play better with their feet than I could with 4 hands and a few extra brain cells.
Doc Watson’s seems to love hiring new people. I made a crack last time about Doc’s bartenders all being brand new and last night they had two brand new bartenders as well. I’m not sure why that strikes me as odd.
Jack over at The People’s Republic of Seabrook thinks I should be the next Director of Homeland Security. My first task as Director would be to headlock the Secretary of Defense until he admitted his budget doesn’t just go towards defense. Next, I would sign defensive star Hugh Douglas to a long term deal. Lastly, I would give any leftover money to Old Man Murray so they could go back online.
The 2nd coolest person I know from Tulsa, OK gave a nice shout out from his site to the Revised Terror Alert Rating System. Thanks.
RIP Mr. Rogers
The new poll asks which of my show flyers you like the best so far. The last poll (Best Futuristic Technology) was the most popular one yet, but I need to scold some of you on your choices. Two of you would rather have a Flying Car than Teleportation. Doesn’t this strike you as a little dumb? Hopefully you chose the flying car because you enjoy flying, but if you could teleport yourself around you could sort of simulate flying in an interesting way: teleport, fall, teleport higher, fall, etc. until you meet your destination. I was really hoping the Living Room’s website would win overall since I pleased myself with the joke (The Living Room is a music venue in Collingswood that has yet to step into the 90s and put up a website).
The Revised Terror Alert Rating System is still generating tons of traffic here after a good 6 days (970 reads!). People are passing around. Someone with an account over at livejournal.com must be using my graphic as an avatar or something because I’m getting server requests for it all the time. Right now it isn’t a problem because my bandwidth is still plentiful, but I’d like to find out exactly how it’s being used.
The new poll asks which of my show flyers you like the best so far. The last poll (Best Futuristic Technology) was the most popular one yet, but I need to scold some of you on your choices. Two of you would rather have a Flying Car than Teleportation. Doesn’t this strike you as a little dumb? Hopefully you chose the flying car because you enjoy flying, but if you could teleport yourself around you could sort of simulate flying in an interesting way: teleport, fall, teleport higher, fall, etc. until you meet your destination. I was really hoping the Living Room’s website would win overall since I pleased myself with the joke (The Living Room is a music venue in Collingswood that has yet to step into the 90s and put up a website).
The Revised Terror Alert Rating System is still generating tons of traffic here after a good 6 days (970 reads!). People are passing around. Someone with an account over at livejournal.com must be using my graphic as an avatar or something because I’m getting server requests for it all the time. Right now it isn’t a problem because my bandwidth is still plentiful, but I’d like to find out exactly how it’s being used.
To everyone who came to see my show at Grape Street last night – You rock. Two weeks notice before a show makes it tough because many have plans, but I was really happy with the people that either came out to see me or just happened to be there and hung out. The weather wasn’t even as bad as I thought it would be. I added a new picture from the show to my image gallery. I also added a few pictures of Jason Wheatley and Roz King in a new album of other local artists. Jason’s gig on Friday at the Living Room was great. He’s filled to the brim with talent and confidence.
These past few days have been exciting for this website. In less than 48 hours the Terror Alert Monster Scale became the most read story here ever and Brian and I got tons of positive feedback on it.
Requiem for a Dream is one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen. I’d watch anything directed by Darren Aronofsky, but the weird thing is I thought Aronofsky was also the lead character in Pi, not just the director. I hate it when you find out you were wrong for so long about something.
To everyone who came to see my show at Grape Street last night – You rock. Two weeks notice before a show makes it tough because many have plans, but I was really happy with the people that either came out to see me or just happened to be there and hung out. The weather wasn’t even as bad as I thought it would be. I added a new picture from the show to my image gallery. I also added a few pictures of Jason Wheatley and Roz King in a new album of other local artists. Jason’s gig on Friday at the Living Room was great. He’s filled to the brim with talent and confidence.
These past few days have been exciting for this website. In less than 48 hours the Terror Alert Monster Scale became the most read story here ever and Brian and I got tons of positive feedback on it.
Requiem for a Dream is one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen. I’d watch anything directed by Darren Aronofsky, but the weird thing is I thought Aronofsky was also the lead character in Pi, not just the director. I hate it when you find out you were wrong for so long about something.
The Department of Homeland Security’s color coded rating system leaves many Americans confused about how alert we should be for terrorist attacks. The official order of how likely an attack will occur is Green, Blue, Yellow, Orange, and Red. What is the reasoning behind this order? Obviously red stands for danger, but what makes orange more frightening than yellow or blue? If the government’s goal is to simplify their warning system in a time of panic there should be no ambiguity as to how much trouble we’re in. That’s why a new, improved system is needed: The Homeland Security Advisory System Monster Scale.
The goal of the Monster Scale is to make it crystal clear how likely a terrorist strike will occur. Each level of likelihood is assigned a monster and the scarier the monster, the more we should be ready for an attack. News stations like CNN and MSNBC can use the Monster Scale icons in their news bars to keep the public informed. Unlike the US government, we will spell out exactly why each monster was chosen.
Terror Alert Frankenberry:
The only way he’s going to get you is if you eat too much of his goddamn cereal. Relax.
Terror Alert Mummy:
He’s so slow, you’d have to be pretty oblivious if he killed you. As long as you aren’t putting yourself in dangerous situations the mummy is no problem.
Terror Alert Zombie:
Ok, slight problem here because there are usually a lot of them, but they are still slow and with proper lighting and equipment (ie, shotguns, torches) you should be ok.
Terror Alert Wolfman:
This guy is bad news. He typically kills a lot before he’s done, but at least he can only operate at night under a full moon and has a distinct weakness (silver bullets).
Terror Alert Dracula:
You are totally fucked because unlike all the other monsters, Dracula knows what he’s doing. He can turn into a bat, charm the pants off women, and usually employs any number of other monsters to help him. He sucks your blood, not because he likes doing it, but to survive. The worst part is that even though you might kill him via the wooden stake or forcing him into sunlight, he’s probably converted at least a dozen vampire sleeper cells before you’ve polished off your crosses.
The Homeland Security Advisory System Monster Scale was developed by Brian Olexy and Ben Garvey.
The Department of Homeland Security’s color coded rating system leaves many Americans confused about how alert we should be for terrorist attacks. The official order of how likely an attack will occur is Green, Blue, Yellow, Orange, and Red. What is the reasoning behind this order? Obviously red stands for danger, but what makes orange more frightening than yellow or blue? If the government’s goal is to simplify their warning system in a time of panic there should be no ambiguity as to how much trouble we’re in. That’s why a new, improved system is needed: The Homeland Security Advisory System Monster Scale.
The goal of the Monster Scale is to make it crystal clear how likely a terrorist strike will occur. Each level of likelihood is assigned a monster and the scarier the monster, the more we should be ready for an attack. News stations like CNN and MSNBC can use the Monster Scale icons in their news bars to keep the public informed. Unlike the US government, we will spell out exactly why each monster was chosen.
Terror Alert Frankenberry:
The only way he’s going to get you is if you eat too much of his goddamn cereal. Relax.
Terror Alert Mummy:
He’s so slow, you’d have to be pretty oblivious if he killed you. As long as you aren’t putting yourself in dangerous situations the mummy is no problem.
Terror Alert Zombie:
Ok, slight problem here because there are usually a lot of them, but they are still slow and with proper lighting and equipment (ie, shotguns, torches) you should be ok.
Terror Alert Wolfman:
This guy is bad news. He typically kills a lot before he’s done, but at least he can only operate at night under a full moon and has a distinct weakness (silver bullets).
Terror Alert Dracula:
You are totally fucked because unlike all the other monsters, Dracula knows what he’s doing. He can turn into a bat, charm the pants off women, and usually employs any number of other monsters to help him. He sucks your blood, not because he likes doing it, but to survive. The worst part is that even though you might kill him via the wooden stake or forcing him into sunlight, he’s probably converted at least a dozen vampire sleeper cells before you’ve polished off your crosses.
The Homeland Security Advisory System Monster Scale was developed by Brian Olexy and Ben Garvey.
I made a minor change to the flyer last night. You can fix anything with Duct Tape. Too bad I didn’t have this until 3 days before the show! I’d like to also announce that I’ll have special guest Mark Penza doing a few songs during my break.
The Wednesday Living Room open mic rocked for several reasons. Roz King, Jason Wheatley, Willie Tapps, Keith Lewis and John Shaughnessy all played great sets, especially Jason who has a gig there this Friday. 15 year old Sarah (something, don’t remember the last name) played 3 covers including an awesome version of the Cure’s “You” and some Pink Floyd song that has to be the shortest one they ever wrote. I’ll go on record and say she had the best cover selections of any 15 year old I’ve ever heard play at an open mic, not to mention her great voice and surprisingly good guitar work. I hope she comes out again. The night ended with an invasion from the Thursday/Sunday night Christain open mic. They had a four piece band with a singer, a guitarist, a bongo player, and a Christian beatboxer! I’ve always wondered what the Christian open mics are like and now I think they’re probably a lot like the regular open mics, except we worship Willie Tapps instead of Jesus.
I made a minor change to the flyer last night. You can fix anything with Duct Tape. Too bad I didn’t have this until 3 days before the show! I’d like to also announce that I’ll have special guest Mark Penza doing a few songs during my break.
The Wednesday Living Room open mic rocked for several reasons. Roz King, Jason Wheatley, Willie Tapps, Keith Lewis and John Shaughnessy all played great sets, especially Jason who has a gig there this Friday. 15 year old Sarah (something, don’t remember the last name) played 3 covers including an awesome version of the Cure’s “You” and some Pink Floyd song that has to be the shortest one they ever wrote. I’ll go on record and say she had the best cover selections of any 15 year old I’ve ever heard play at an open mic, not to mention her great voice and surprisingly good guitar work. I hope she comes out again. The night ended with an invasion from the Thursday/Sunday night Christain open mic. They had a four piece band with a singer, a guitarist, a bongo player, and a Christian beatboxer! I’ve always wondered what the Christian open mics are like and now I think they’re probably a lot like the regular open mics, except we worship Willie Tapps instead of Jesus.
One cool thing about having a website is you get to see how people found you. If someone types in www.bengarvey.com into their address bar that doesn’t tell me much, but if they do a search on google for “acoustic shitheads” and my site happens to pop up (it doesn’t, yet), I’ll know visitors of my site are looking for information about “acoustic shitheads.” I can also see where you searched from (Google, yahoo, etc.) or if you just clicked a link from another site to get here. Here are some interesting things from the last few months :
Weird Search Terms:
“philadelphia dads”
“chords for the philadelphia eagles fight song”
“recent picture of carnie wilson”
“sponge bob birthday invite downloads”
“carnie wilson booking”
“oompa loompa picture downloads”
“black nudist colonies pictures”
“cheap haircuts pittsburghpa”
“went to a nudist party tonight and had a great time seeing ever”
I forgot to mention the bands playing Saturday night. Come out to see me and stick around to catch:
One cool thing about having a website is you get to see how people found you. If someone types in www.bengarvey.com into their address bar that doesn’t tell me much, but if they do a search on google for “acoustic shitheads” and my site happens to pop up (it doesn’t, yet), I’ll know visitors of my site are looking for information about “acoustic shitheads.” I can also see where you searched from (Google, yahoo, etc.) or if you just clicked a link from another site to get here. Here are some interesting things from the last few months :
Weird Search Terms:
“philadelphia dads”
“chords for the philadelphia eagles fight song”
“recent picture of carnie wilson”
“sponge bob birthday invite downloads”
“carnie wilson booking”
“oompa loompa picture downloads”
“black nudist colonies pictures”
“cheap haircuts pittsburghpa”
“went to a nudist party tonight and had a great time seeing ever”
I forgot to mention the bands playing Saturday night. Come out to see me and stick around to catch:
I added a real photo gallery to the site, so now I can handle images a lot better. So far I have galleries for pictures of my shows, flyers, instruments, and some random pictures I’ve taken with my camera.
Update: I’ve also added a prototype of a flyer for this weeks show! Let me know what you think.
I added a real photo gallery to the site, so now I can handle images a lot better. So far I have galleries for pictures of my shows, flyers, instruments, and some random pictures I’ve taken with my camera.
Update: I’ve also added a prototype of a flyer for this weeks show! Let me know what you think.
Last night I saw Adrien Reju play with her band for the first time and they put on a great show. The Grape Street Pub always sounds good, even upstairs unless the bass drum of the downstairs band is competing for decibels.
Andrew booked me to play on Saturday, February 22 at 8:00PM. This is my first gig in a while, so try to make it out if you can.
Last night I saw Adrien Reju play with her band for the first time and they put on a great show. The Grape Street Pub always sounds good, even upstairs unless the bass drum of the downstairs band is competing for decibels.
Andrew booked me to play on Saturday, February 22 at 8:00PM. This is my first gig in a while, so try to make it out if you can.
