Today on everybody’s favorite nerd site, Slashdot, someone posted a great diatribe against Campbell Soup for their high priced Ramen noodles. I don’t know if this guy ripped this off from somewhere else, but who cares?
Let’s face it, Campbell’s, when’s the last time any of your executives went to an expensive company dinner and ordered ramen noodles. . . on purpose? When was the last time one of your rich-ass friends invited you over for dinner and this happened:
“Bob, you ought to bring over the wife and kids for dinner tonight.”
“Sorry, Biff, I have lots of work this evening.”
“Are you sure? We’re breaking out the ramen noodles. . . “
“Really? Is it someone’s birthday?”
What? That’s never happened to you? You know why? Because you aren’t poor. Do you want to know why other ramen companies are still thriving and you had to discontinue yours? This is why:
Because other companies tell it like it is. Smack Ramen. This shit is “smack” for poor people. They don’t try to flower it up or make it look all gormet. Sure, they tried to make it look a little too pretty on the package, but not only does theirs cost eighteen cents a package, they named their entire company “Smack”. Because if you have to rely on ramen noodles as your chief source of nutrition, you probably look like a junkie, and Smack sure as fuck isn’t going to act like they don’t know. Thank you, Smack, for looking our handicap right in the face and not pretending like it doesn’t exist.