Jack White Pleads Guilty to Assault

Jack White of the White Stripes plead guilty to an assault charge against Jason Stollsteimer of the Von Bondies. White beat the living shit out of Stollsteimer and then went back and beat the dead shit out of him, too.

Judge Paula Humphries of Detroit’s 36th District Court fined White $500 and ordered him to pay court costs of about $200. In addition, White must enroll in anger-management classes. Upon completion of the program, his probation will be closed out, a spokesperson for the prosecution said.

So for $700 and an anger management class, I can beat the crap out of someone? Don’t piss me off this week at the open mic…