Answering Machine Messages

I’ve had these sitting on my hard drive for years and I’m finally letting them out. Everyone gets weird answering machine messages once and a while. Luckily I recorded two of the best ones I ever got.

The first one is from an old man who paid me to help him out with his computer. I got $15 to come over his house once and a while and show him how to use the Internet, email, and transfer files over from his old computer. I never called him back after I got this message. (I bleeped out his name)

The second one is from my college roommate’s friend who enjoyed cranking people’s answering machine.

As an added bonus, there are two new music files for download. They’re two weird tracks I did with some shareware program in 1997 or 1998.

Update: I fixed the songs, You’ve Got an Alien and This is Mom, so now you can download it.

13 thoughts on “Answering Machine Messages”

  1. You do know that yum-yum is a kind of water ice and NOT something lurid, don’t you? I know the message itself is funny either way

  2. This is the first I’ve heard of someone actually guessing what the “Yum Yum” is. I never had anything like that at his house and we never talked about it, although I did have tea and cookies once.

  3. Read The Black House. You should have read it before continuing any further in Wolves Of The Calla. The Talisman and The Black House are absolutely essential. So is Hearts In Atlantis. Talk about self referential! I love that man, say thankya!

  4. Almost every Stephen King novel has a reference to the Dark Tower and I can’t stomach any non DK books from King after reading Depseration, possibly the worst book I’ve ever read.

  5. I know it because they sell it in the summer time at Crystal Lake Pool…
    Sounds like he was enticing you…..

  6. Worse than Tommyknockers? That was his worst for me. And remember, the Talisman and Black House are only cowritten by King.

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