Answering Machine Messages

I’ve had these sitting on my hard drive for years and I’m finally letting them out. Everyone gets weird answering machine messages once and a while. Luckily I recorded two of the best ones I ever got.

The first one is from an old man who paid me to help him out with his computer. I got $15 to come over his house once and a while and show him how to use the Internet, email, and transfer files over from his old computer. I never called him back after I got this message. (I bleeped out his name)

The second one is from my college roommate’s friend who enjoyed cranking people’s answering machine.

As an added bonus, there are two new music files for download. They’re two weird tracks I did with some shareware program in 1997 or 1998.

Update: I fixed the songs, You’ve Got an Alien and This is Mom, so now you can download it.


13 responses to “Answering Machine Messages”

  1.  Avatar

    You do know that yum-yum is a kind of water ice and NOT something lurid, don’t you? I know the message itself is funny either way

  2. JoanneGault Avatar

    uhh that’s kind of weird… I can’t blame you for not calling him back.

  3. This is the first I’ve heard of someone actually guessing what the “Yum Yum” is. I never had anything like that at his house and we never talked about it, although I did have tea and cookies once.

  4. Yeah, it was bizarre.

  5. Aballah-doon.

  6.  Avatar

    Read The Black House. You should have read it before continuing any further in Wolves Of The Calla. The Talisman and The Black House are absolutely essential. So is Hearts In Atlantis. Talk about self referential! I love that man, say thankya!

  7. Almost every Stephen King novel has a reference to the Dark Tower and I can’t stomach any non DK books from King after reading Depseration, possibly the worst book I’ve ever read.

  8. Desperation was good, if I recall correct. It was Regulators that sucked. Tak. Dad-a-chack.

  9. I never read Regulators and Desperation is still the worst book I’ve ever read.

  10.  Avatar

    I know it because they sell it in the summer time at Crystal Lake Pool…
    Sounds like he was enticing you…..

  11. Worse than Tommyknockers? That was his worst for me. And remember, the Talisman and Black House are only cowritten by King.

  12. The Tommyknockers wasn’t very good, but I don’t think it’s as bad as most people say.