Introducing… The Ham Dog

On Saturday night I was poking around in the fridge looking for something to make for dinner. I had thawed some ground beef, but I was surprised to see we didn’t have any hamburger buns left.

I didn’t feel like running to the store, so what could I do? I noticed we still had some hot dog buns.

Hmm…. ground beef. Hotdog buns. Ground beef. Hotdog buns. That’s when a genius idea popped into my head.

I thought, what is to stop me from rolling up hamburgers longways so they’ll fit into a hotdog bun? Nothing, unless you count societal pressure for buns and meat types to be segregated, which is pretty strong because when I brought this idea up to Jeanne she was against it.

Surely this new grilled beef and bread combination needed a name. The hot burger sounded too much like a perverted sexual practice, so I settled on the ham dog. Now all I had to do was start making them.

The first thing I did was get out the ground beef and add some salt, garlic, and ground pepper. Second, I mixed it all up and formed six longish shapes I figured would fit into a hot dog bun, like so.

At this point I thought my ham dogs were going to look more like grilled dog turds than anything else, but I pressed on.

I put the ham dogs on the grill and cooked them for about five minutes on each side.

Looking good! I put cheese on a few of them and toasted the hot dog buns. When they were finished I brought them in, added ketchup, mustard, lettuce, and some red onion. Finally, the first hamdogs were born.

How were they? Freaking awesome, but I probably made them slightly too big. I thought they’d cook down a little since we were using fattier meat than usual, but they didn’t. I also wouldn’t use lettuce next time because it’s a lot harder to keep the lettuce on a hamdog than on a burger. They tasted delicious and in doing so I proved to the world that you can successfully cross breed a hot dog and a hamburger.

Jeanne liked them, too.


9 responses to “Introducing… The Ham Dog”

  1. You are a visionary for this or any age.

  2. jimpot Avatar

    “beef beyond belief”, indeed.

  3. PrincessPink Avatar

    I’m amused, impressed, and just a little bit grossed out all at the same time.
    That’s pretty funny… and I have to say, they look pretty good. lol

  4. Grossed out?

  5. CountAsterisk Avatar

    Meh, it’s been done before:

    Combating Southern Fried Fat
    DECATUR, Ga., Feb. 14, 2005

    (AP) When Becky Cleaveland is out with her girlfriends, they all pick at salads except for the petite Atlanta woman. She tackles “The Hamdog.”

    The dish, a specialty of Mulligan’s, a suburban bar, is a hot dog wrapped by a beef patty that’s deep fried, covered with chili, cheese and onions and served on a hoagie bun. Oh yeah, it’s also topped with a fried egg and two fistfuls of fries.

    “The owner says I’m the only girl who can eat a whole one without flinching,” Cleaveland said proudly.

    Amid a national obesity epidemic and the South’s infamous distinction as the “Stroke Belt,” health officials have been trying to get diners to flinch, at least a little, at the region’s trademark fried and fatty foods.

  6. Now that thing is gross.

  7. k_dizzle Avatar

    i think they look glorious.

    i’ll tell my pops about them.
    he’ll go insane.

  8. He can come over the next time I make them.

  9.  Avatar

    Hmmm….time for a second lunch!