Early Nirvana Band Bio

Nirvana’s band bio from their Bleach days shows that they knew they had something good, but didn’t take themselves too seriously. Here’s a good lesson for the musicians out there! Most of the bios I read on your sites are so bad they make me want to avoid you. Some are worse than others, and I’ll concede mine is nothing special either. Check this out:

NIRVANA sounds like mid-tempo Black Sabbath playing the knack, Black Flag, the Stooges, and a pinch of the- Bay City Rollers. Their personal musical influences include H. R. Puffnstuff, Speed Racer, divorces, drugs, sound
effects records, the Beatles, rednecks, hard rock, punk rock, Leadbelly, Slayer, and, of course,
the Stooges.

NIRVANA sees the underground scene as becoming stagnant and more accessible to big league capitalist pig major record labels. But does NIRVANA fell a moral duty to fight this cancerous evil? NO WAY! We want to cash in and suck up to the big wigs in hopes that we too can GET HIGH AND FUCK. GET HIGH AND FUCK. GET HIGH AND FUCK.

Read the rest here. I got the link from More Boom in the Room.


11 responses to “Early Nirvana Band Bio”

  1. Go read Come As You Are: The Story Of Nirvana by Michael Azzerad. It’s got tons of clippings and shit like that in it, as well as the story of the band from their early lives on up to Kurt’s death. Except it was published before he died, so there isn’t all the “Everything he’s doing is leading up to committing suicide” coloring that’s in Heavier Than Heaven.

    Courtney did it.

  2. Right now I’m writing “Are you as Come?: The Story of Pat Hipp,” which also isn’t colored by the subject’s death.

  3. Yeah, I have that Kurt Cobain: Journals book and it has a couple of versions of that in there. That’s a great book for tracking the evolution of Nirvana. I read it all the time.

    Meanwhile if I had to write your bio, I would write this:

    BEN GARVEY. Robot pirates looting and burning those very same recording studios which overqualified hacks like the Goo Goo Dolls attempt to churn out broken, sordid pop garbage so the next Sandra Bullock at least makes some money on her newest summer pre-teen blockbuster “POOP FLOATS”, the sequel to whatever crappy cookie-cutter-feel-good-love-trauma-beautiful-people 2 hour sitcom she put out for the 10000th time last year, except this time the story takes place at a rural girls college instead of in a coffee shop. BEN GARVEY. LEADING THE PARADE OF ROBOT PIRATES WITH SMART ACOUSTIC PUNK FOLK. You will have him to thank.

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    I have that Nirvana book and a stack of others. I really like the sarcastic style in the Bio, too. And that’s one way to go, but it’s hardly a universal style to emulate. So what’s the lesson?
    I’ll have to look over mine again now. I just put some songs at garageband.com a few weeks ago and listed my musical influences as Charlotte Church, “Uncle Floyd” Vivino, and William Hung. Sure it’s kind of funny, but then again you’d have to sift through pretty deep to make the connections.
    John S.

  5. This paragraph will make it into my next flyer, possibly written on card board held up by a homeless person.

  6. Is Uncle Floyd from that “Uncle Floyd Show” that was on PBS years ago? My grandfather loved that show.

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    That show was horrible and wonderful. When I was about 16, I drew a picture of the cast, colored it with crayons and sent in in – and they showed it! Ah, memories.

  8. LEAVE ME ALONE! -_-,

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    I think Jay is taking offense to the pejorative GooGoo Dolls reference

  10. I think Jay is just a big wuss.

  11. I been thinking about this… I might revise my own to the following:
    “John Shaughnessy Loves to Speak About Himself in the Third Person”
    John Shaughnessy has come a long way since his days as a teen in bands ?The Once and Future Singers? and ?The Dull Truckers?, where he played spoons, triangle, and jews harp, often in combination. Since picking up the guitar he has entertained audiences numbering in the dozens with his protest music, championing such causes as domestic rodent preservation (?Save the Gerbils?) and the human rights of 7-footers (?Free Kareem Abdul- Jabbar?). John is older now than he was last year, but he can still be found performing out in New Jersey and the Philadelphia-area. And if someday he finds that no one wants to hear him sing anymore, he hopes one day to gain fame as a contestant on a reality television show.